Григорий Громов (abcdefgh) wrote,
Григорий Громов
abcdefgh

"Вот до чего техника дошла!"(с)

Ниже продолжение цикла примеров новейших успехов современной техники в созданими невиданных ранее бытовых - и не только - удобств для обывателя (предшествующие разделы см. к примеру здесь, тут, ну и там отчасти наверное тоже):

Ниже текст посвящен целиком и полностью только последним из наиболее впечатляющих достижения high-tech в Wal-Mart. Предназначен в качестве инструктивного материала для завсегдатаев этого магазина, а потому, извините, по-английски

    One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

    "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . A lot cheaper than a doctor."

    So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart."

    That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following:

    1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
    2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
    3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
    4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
    5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!



Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart
(публикуется на правах рекламы)
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