"Вот до чего техника дошла!"(с)
Ниже текст посвящен целиком и полностью только последним из наиболее впечатляющих достижения high-tech в Wal-Mart. Предназначен в качестве инструктивного материала для завсегдатаев этого магазина, а потому, извините, по-английски
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him,
"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine
sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about
it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . A lot cheaper than a
doctor."
So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to
Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks
for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten
seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis
elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will
improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart."
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe
began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap
water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. Joe hurries back to
Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in
his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
better!
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart
(публикуется на правах рекламы)